Joel's Travels

Theology | Bible Study | Leadership

  • About Me
  • Theology
  • Bible Study
  • Leadership
  • Free E-Book
    • The Life And Writings: Augustine
  • Speaker Request

3 Ways to Respond to Criticism

May 20, 2015 by Joel Muddamalle Leave a Comment

Criticism

I’ve called it numerous things in the past. A pursuit of excellence, paying attention to detail, just wanting everything to be the best it can be, but finally I realized that the best definition for my behavior was simply; being critical. The funny thing is, I hate it when people are critical of me.

My critical nature robs me of joy, every time. Other peoples criticism of me leaves me deflated.

The pleasure of criticizing robs us of the better pleasure of unconscious delight

Click To Tweet

Spurgeon helps us see that there is value even in friends who are critical.

Spurgeon Quotes Critics

So how do we respond to criticism? Should we respond to criticism? Yes, we should respond to criticism. However, its more complex than that. Sometimes we need to address those that are being critical and at other times we need to address the criticism privately with ourselves. The latter sounds crazy, but its the most helpful approach to criticism that I have found.

1. Respond:

If you are responding to the person who is being critical and addressing the issue, do so both prayerfully and with an extra measure of grace. Again, sounds crazy but most biblical responses are crazy. The individual being critical with you is doing so out of a lack of grace. The reasons could be numerous, but more often than not, its simply because they have never been shown grace. Take this opportunity to show grace to the person. Let them know how their approach made you feel. First, start with anything they said that may have been accurate and true. This introspection will help them see that your response is not knee jerk but a thoughtful response that takes into consideration what they said, regardless of how they said it.

2. Respond Personally:

Don’t respond directly to the individual. Sometimes its not helpful. The result could be more damaging that restorative and relationship building. In these instances still address the criticism but do so personally. Consider what the individual said and their background or perspective. Now ask if there was any truth in what they said. Do your best to remove the emotion and the delivery method. Surprisingly, there may be something that is incredibly helpful. Our ability to pull apart the truth regardless of how the message was delivered is essential in our personal development and applies to al areas of our life.

3. Forgive, Release, Act:

Act on what was true in the message and forgive and release the person that delivered the message in a hurtful manner. Part of our maturity both spiritually and emotionally affects our ability to forgive. Often, our pre-requisite to forgiveness is the other person being willing to forgive us or acknowledge their own faults. The best thing you could do for yourself personally, is truly forgive others regardless of how they respond or what they do. Finally, put in place a plan to change whatever the other person points out. Regardless of how you received the information, it’s yours now. So be wise and accountable to that and put in place the action steps to change what you need to.

Bonus: Don’t let criticism get under your skin. The poet Tasso says is well as he responds to his enemies speaking ill and criticizing his works:

“I am not disturbed. How much better it is that he speak ill of me to all the world than that all the world should speak ill of me to him”.

 

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Leadership, Uncategorized Tagged With: Criticism, Critics, Leadership, Personal Growth

Big Changes For The Muddamalle Family

May 18, 2015 by Joel Muddamalle 3 Comments

Big Changes

No. We are not having another baby.

However, there is a big change for us. My wife (Brittany) and I are excited to share that we are making a big move in the next 4 weeks. We will be moving to Chicago, more specifically, the suburbs south of Chicago where I grew up. Before anyone panics, this is NOT a job change. I’ll still be working for Faithlife as a National Conference Speaker. This move actually has a lot to do with my job. Why uproot and move my family after 3 years in Bellingham, WA? Well, it really boils down to these two reasons.

1. Travel

It’s hard to have a job where you spend most of your time in an airplane and have to fly from the pacific northwest. The time change, connections, and location all add up to days away from my family. By making a move to become more central, I will instantly cut down on travel days and be able to spend more time with my wife and kids. I’ve always been a strong believer in putting your family ahead of any ministry. I believe this is also the same for vocation. This move places my family as a priority.

2. Indian Culture

Brittany and I have always wanted to raise our kids with an immersion into Indian culture. Realistically, the best way that can happen is to be around it. While we have absolutely loved our time in California and Washington, we are excited to expose our three boys to more of the Indian side of of their heritage. I have an extensive Indian community in Chicago that I grew up in. I’m excited for my boys to be near their “uncles” and “aunties” and experience some awesome Indian weddings, prayer meetings, and parties. Even better, my immediate family will be about 2-4 hours away. We are really excited to be close to everyone!

Bonus:

Deep dish pizza. Enough said.

Processed with VSCOcam with c1 preset

This is just from my perspective. Get my wife’s thoughts on this on her blog. She gives more details into the family and culture side of things.

We plan on making the move in mid June. I have lots of conferences in the summer so adding a move into the mix is a bit challenging. If you guys are thinking about our family, I would love your prayers! If you are in the Chicagoland area, shoot me an email or like my Facebook page and comment. I’d love to connect!

 

 

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Travel, Uncategorized Tagged With: Chicago, Family, Moving, Traveling

3 Ways To Pray For Baltimore

April 30, 2015 by Joel Muddamalle Leave a Comment

Pray for Baltimore

It’s making the headlines everywhere your turn. Your favorite news app, the tv, the newspaper, and any other place where information is being shared, the Baltimore riots. While many are writing about various aspects of this issue, I simply want to encourage Christians to respond in a thoughtful, gospel centered, and God honoring fashion.

First, the affects of these riots will surpass just the city of Baltimore and will be the baseline that others will turn to as tragedy occurs in other cities just as Baltimore is responding to the events surrounding Freddie Gray’s death. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr helps us understand the rationale for riots as he states,

A riot is the language of the unheard – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

Click To Tweet

In regards to the limitations of riots Dr. King states further:

The limitation of riots, moral questions aside, is that they cannot win and their participants know it. Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary because it invites defeat. It involves and emotional catharsis, but it must be followed by a sense of futility. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Therefore we are always faced with the question of response. How do we respond in light of such tragedy, pain, and heartache? I believe the mandated response for all believers is – Prayer.

Unfortunatley, this may be the most overlooked or assumed response. In fact, many of us say we are “praying” but never actually spend time in intentional prayer for all those affected by the riots. This may be partially because we lack a proper understanding of the theology of prayer. What actually occurs when we pray? Let’s start with a definition of prayer. Harpers Bible Dictionary states:

Prayer is – the act of petitioning, praising, giving thanks, or confessing to God; it is expressed by several different words in both the OT and NT. Prayer can be individual or corporate, audible or silent. It is conditioned by the biblical understanding of God as a personal being who hears the prayers of his people. 

If we believe that our prayers are heard by the creator of the universe who is personal and takes active part of human history, this should motivate us to spend dedicated and intentional time in prayer. Here are 3 ways we can be in prayer for all those affected in the Baltimore riots:

1. Pray for the family of Freddie Gray – This family is hurting, confused, and dealing with so much pain and agony. Pray that the Holy Spirit would bring comfort, understanding, and peace to this family. Further, pray for salvation and the Holy Spirit’s effectual calling of these family members.

2. Pray for the police and law enforcement – Police and law enforcement have put their lives on the line and their bodies in danger to protect the city and other people. Pray for peace for the families of these officers. I can only imagine the countless wives, children, husbands, mothers, and fathers that wait anxiously for their loved ones to come home.

3. Pray for the Gospel to transform the city of Baltimore – While this riot is a poor attempt to cause transformation and force politicians, judges, and law enforcement officials to hear the voice and concern of those rioting, the only true source of change and transformation can be through the power of the Gospel.

The Gospel is the ONLY means of effective transformation for the city of Baltimore via @muddamalle

Click To Tweet

Finally, pray that the Gospel would invade the lives of every person living within the city of Baltimore. Pray for the pastors and churches in the city that are facing the daunting task of shepherding and counseling countless families.

If you made it through this entire post, pray right now. #PrayForBaltimore

 


[1] Paul J. Achtemeier, Harper & Row and Society of Biblical Literature, Harper’s Bible Dictionary (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1985), 816.

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Culture, Theology, Uncategorized Tagged With: Baltimore, Christian, Gospel, Prayer, Riot

The Traveling Dad: Parents, Go On The Offensive

April 27, 2015 by Joel Muddamalle Leave a Comment

Go on the offensive

Kids came fast for Brittany and I. We had a plan but God seems to reign sovereign in all areas. I was finishing up graduate school and still had about year left when we found out we were pregnant with Liam. Fast forward three and a half years and we have Liam, Levi, and a brand new baby boy Lucas.

People have some great advice as new additions join the family. Probably my favorite and most common goes something likes this.

When you have one kid it’s great. You can both tag team the child. With two kids things get a little tricky, you transition to a man to man defense. When you have your third everything falls apart as you maintain a zone defense.

I began to think about this analogy and realized that after the first child parents at time switch from offensive play to a posture of defense. But why? Why are we reactive towards our kids and not pro active? Why are we responding to their actions and not informing how they think and make decisions?

Parents, its time to go on the offensive.

I don’t think this is intentional. For most of us, we are just trying to figure things out. As we attempt to figure things out we land in this defensive posture. However, maintaining doesn’t produce growth or progress. It eventually leaves us in a stagnant place.

Our kids not only require our best offensive pursuit but they deserve it. @Muddamalle

Click To Tweet

I realized now as an adult the majority of how I perceive the world and come to judgements and decisions is a direct result of how I was raised. Values, system, and beliefs, were instilled into me as a child and affect every thought and decision. We have the great opportunity to create the framework that our kids will rely on as adults. While we all wish that we will always be around to give our kids advice, we don’t know what the future holds. Therefore, being intentional now will be a benefit in the future.

Here are a few areas that require parents to be active in the lives of their children:

  1. Discipline – Your kids need it. There is time for friendship later in life, first, be their parent.
  2. Friendships – Be involved in the life of your kids. What kind of friends do they have? Do they have challenges with any friends or peers. Be a listening ear and offer advice and support when you can
  3. Church – Be active and set the example for the importance of being apart of the local church. We don’t question if kids need to go to school do we? So why make it optional for them to go to church? Set priorities and lead by example
  4. Family time – Set aside time to be together as a family. My kids are still young but I am already panicking over how big they are getting and how fast time is passing us by. If you are intentional about spending time together as a family early on, it wont be a question later on.

More posts from the Traveling Dad Series:

The Challenge of Discipline

Will I Mess Up My Kids?

The Pursuit of Consistency

 

***

Did you like this post? If so, share it on Facebook and/or Twitter and make sure you sign up for my newsletter so you don’t miss then next one!

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Theology, Travel, Uncategorized Tagged With: Family, Kids, Marriage, Parents

The Traveling Dad: The Pursuit of Consistency

April 17, 2015 by Joel Muddamalle Leave a Comment

Consistency

As a kid I hated consistency. Actually, the more I think about it, I still hate it. But I know it’s good for me. It’s even more important for my kids. Traveling threw the concept of consistency for a spin for our family. There are times when Dad is not home for dinner or breakfast. There are times when he is. The night time routine can get changed, which can become a big deal for our kids. I learned quickly that I don’t read stories like momma.

We quickly began to see the toll that inconsistency had for our kids. The boys became anxious and began to question everything. Liam is the king of “but why dadda?”. At first I just got mad, then I realized that this was a symptom of inconsistency in his life. So why is consistency important for kids?

1. It builds a framework for them that they can rely on:

As much my kids fight the routine they need it. In many ways consistency serves as a safety blanket that they can rely on. Without this framework there isn’t anything that is anchoring them down. This creates a perfect scenario for them to start spinning out of control.

In fact, my inconsistency creates the opportunity for chaos in my kids life. @Muddamalle

Click To Tweet

Kids need boundaries, they need guidelines and rules. Possibly the biggest challenge I came across as a youth pastor was the epidemic of parents that wanted to be friends with their kids and not their parents. Here’s a little secret that I found out. Friendship with your kids will come as they get older. If you focus on building a strong framework for your kids to rely on it will only result in a better friendship and further trust as they become adults. My mom never fooled around with me as a kid. There was never question if she was my parent or friend. Today, I enjoy a friendship with my mom, which is a blessing. Don’t worry, she still knows how to throw down on me if I need it!

2. It creates discipline:

Our pursuit of consistency results in much needed discipline for kids. This discipline is crucial for them as they develop into adulthood. As we focus on creating disciplined children not only will our kids thank as they become adults, but their spouses, kids, and bosses will owe us one!

While I was in New York I had a great conversation with the Hillsong NYC pastoral team. An observation that we both have seen is the expectation that teenagers and young adults have for instant gratification. They want what they want, now! Possibly a big part of the challenge is a lack of discipline and patience during their childhood. The best part of this is sitting back and watching our kids become responsible adults.

3. It facilitates an opportunity to make significant accomplishments:

I am constantly amazed at how much Liam (almost 4) and Levi (2) are absorbing. My wife Brittany recently decided to start working through a easy “teach your kids to read” book. She simply decided to consistently work through a page or two in the book each night. Now, when I’m home Liam reminds me that he has to do his “work” like dadda does work. So every night he grabs his book and sits with me and momma to practice his reading. Oh, and my 3.5 year old can legitimately read 15-20 words. Is it purely because he’s a genius? Well, yes. But more importantly is because of a consistent pattern each night.

Our kids have the ability to absorb, learn, and accomplish a lot. As parents we have the great opportunity to focus in on specific areas. This can look different for everyone. For some it may be reading, for others it could working on brushing teeth or cleaning up toys. Regardless, you can accomplish a lot simply by being consistent.

Finally, grace.

Give yourself grace. Please don’t take this post to mean that we have to be perfect. Inconsistency is part of life. Things happen, routines change, and life goes on. Give yourself grace, and remember to give your parent friends grace also!

More posts from the Traveling Dad Series:

The Challenge of Discipline

Will I Mess Up My Kids?

***

Did you like this post? If so, share it on Facebook and/or Twitter and make sure you sign up for my newsletter so you don’t miss then next one – Parents, it’t time to go on the offensive!

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Travel, Uncategorized Tagged With: children, Consistency, Grace, Kids, Marriage, Parenting

The Traveling Dad: Will I Mess Up My Kids?

April 15, 2015 by Joel Muddamalle 2 Comments

Will I Mess Up My Kids?

When Brittany first told me that she was pregnant I quickly went through the following emotions.

Shock – Excitement – Panic – Oh Crap.

You may have read previously that I am not necessarily a fan of kids. Now I found myself responsible for the life of this little human being. Not only that but I instantly fell in love. All of a sudden I had these intense affections for this gift of God. Then, I had the “Oh Crap” moment. The conversation in my mind went something like this.

Will I be a good dad? Am I ready to be a dad? Does being a dad mean I can’t play air-soft or Modern Warfare 2? Crap…what if I mess up this kid?

The fear of messing up my kids skyrocketed as I realized I did not have the luxury of working a eight to five job and home every afternoon. Being a traveling dad threw our entire household into a tailspin for a bit as we adjusted to this new dynamic. I typically found myself up late at night at hotel rooms thinking about my kids (its hard for me to sleep when I’m on the road). Sometimes my thoughts revolve around the future. What type of men will by boys grow up to be? What type of lady will they marry and bring into the family? How will they interact with their kids and wives? All of these thoughts hinge on the questions, did we do enough raising them?

Both Brittany and I realized a couple things quickly:

1. We have to be intentional with our kids – When people say your kids grow up in a blink of an eye they are being serious. I’ve tried to be intentional with my boy’s in a variety of ways. I’m intentional about commenting to my boys how beautiful their momma looks. This creates a standard for them as they get married.

In many ways my intentionality with my boys is an investment into their future outcome. @Muddamalle

Click To Tweet

We intentionally talk about the goodness of God and why we love Jesus. I want my boys to always remember a love and affection for Christ. The greatest gift I could give my boys is a childhood filled with affection, wonder, and awe of Jesus.

2. Our kids foundation has to be the Word of God – If I am really honest with myself, my own wisdom, insight, and intellect is not good enough. It never will be. The best thing we can do for our Children is saturate them in the Word of God. I love Proverbs 1:8-19. Many parents and pastors love using this verse to point out the importance that kids listen to and obey their mother and father. I read this verse and am reminded that kids can only listen and obey when parents are faithful in instructing and teaching their children in the way of the Lord.

3. Praying is essential – Ultimately, our hope for our kids can’t be in our ability or skills. If this is the case we are all in trouble. As we realize that we don’t have everything under control we are left with our only hope being in the Holy Spirit. As a result, it is essential that we spend time in prayer for our kids. My mom spent countless hours praying for me, and I firmly believe that her prayers made a difference. In fact, as we turn to God we can place our hope in the creator of the universe who spoke all things into being. 1 Thess 5:17 tells us to pray without ceasing and Hebrews 5:7 points us to the example of Christ to prayed and was heard because of his reverence. Our prayers makes a difference and we can take hope in the fact that our God is good.   I love that God is faithful and a good father. The scriptures are filled with this reality.

Jeremiah 29:11 [widescreen]

 Will I Mess Up My Kids?

Yea, most likely to some extent, but I’m thankful that Brittany and I can turn to God who gives us direction and a hope not only for our future but for our children also.

***

Don’t forget to read the first post of the series that covers discipline!

Helpful Resources:

These two books have been game changers for us as we jumped into this crazy life parenting 3 little boys!

  • Give Them Grace
  • Shepherding a Childs Heart

*If you enjoyed the post share it on Facebook or Twitter and make sure you subscribe to my newsletter so you get the next one delivered right to your in box.

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Theology, Travel, Uncategorized Tagged With: Bible, children, Kids, Marriage, panic, Parenting

Introducing: The Traveling Dad Series

April 12, 2015 by Joel Muddamalle Leave a Comment

Traveling Dad

I was on an airplane with Brittany, Liam, Levi, and Lucas heading to Houston. Liam turned to me suddenly and said:

“Ohh…Dadda…so this is where you live!?”…

Never saw that one coming.

I realized quickly that traveling threw a couple wrenches into parenting. It was much more difficult being a traveling Dad than I anticipated. Some of you may be thinking:

“How does this apply to me?”

Whether or not you travel, it is impossible to be with your kids 24 hours a day. In that case, you may experience some of the challenges that I have in a different context. Most of what I write about will serve as principles that you can apply to your context. In fact, I’d love to hear about how you do that! Let me know in the comments section.

I’d encourage you to do 3 things as we kick off this series:

  1. Share this post (Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Google+) – It’s my hope and prayer that this will be helpful to seasoned parents, new parents, new couples, and even people who are just thinking about the implications of marriage and parenthood. We all have people in one or all of those categories, so hopefully these posts will help them!
  2. Subscribe to the email news letter – Don’t miss a post. When you subscribe you will get each post delivered directly to your in box! I’m also working on devotional e-book and the only way to get it will be to sign up!
  3. Check out the first post – This first post covers one of my first challenges, discipline!

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Leadership, Travel, Uncategorized Tagged With: Discipline, Fathers, Marriage, Parenting

3 Things Vince Gill and Carrie Underwood Taught Us About Evangelism

April 9, 2015 by Joel Muddamalle Leave a Comment

Many of you may have seen the video of Vince Gill and Carrie Underwood doing a stunning rendition of the classic Christian Hymn “How Great Thou Art”. If you haven’t take a look.

When I first saw this I found myself simultaneously stunned, in awe, wonder, and captivated by the talent of both of these artist’s which lead me immediately to being thankful to our great God who gives us such incredible talents and gifts. I can’t imagine the risk that Vince Gill and Carrie Underwood took as they collaboratively decided to do this particular song on such a large stage. Their example gives us some important reminders about evangelism and the importance of presenting the gospel in a variety of ways to a variety of people.

Excellence:

Excellence is important. One of the things I love about this video is the response in the crowd. As they listen to these epic words that have been sung by countless christians throughout the decades, the audience is first impacted by the excellence of musicianship and the vocal ability. This excellence paves a path for the reception and consideration of the words of this hymn. In fact, towards the end of the clip you see some famous artists moved to tears. This pursuit of excellence is important for every christian. The way in which you share the gospel can be multi faceted. This can be done through speech, music, the arts, and more. Therefore, pursuit of excellence should be a priority for believers.

Conviction/Execution:

They followed through with both conviction and executed flawlessly. There was not a hint of hesitation. Possibly the most crippling challenge for anyone is the lack of conviction which results in the in ability to execute. We all have great ideas when it comes to evangelism and how we can share Christ with those that we love, but how often do we actually execute that idea? Being able to follow through is important. This simple act of execution is crucial for everyone.

Boldness:

This song choice was not without risk. Both Vince and Carrie knew the possible negative press that could come from their song choice. In fact, I can imagine some PR specialists asking them to reconsider the song based on recent events with religious freedom and the issue of homosexuality in Indiana that has hit the front page of news. Regardless of the potential risk, both Vince and Carrie were bold in their decision and followed through with excellence. At times the possible negative outcome can sway our decision making process. In fact, it can cause us to question not only our decisions but our motives and beliefs. Acts 4:29 is worth noting, the first century church believers plead with the Lord to give them boldness as they speak truth about what Christ has done. Therefore, it would be wise for us to echo this same prayer for our lives.

acts 4 29

 

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Leadership, Theology, Uncategorized Tagged With: Carrie Underwood, Country Music, Evangelism, Gospel, Vince Gill

Should Christians Do Easter Egg Hunts?

April 4, 2015 by Joel Muddamalle Leave a Comment

Easter Egg

Easter is literally around the corner and in many homes there is a frantic rush to prepare for an epic Easter egg hunt. Interestingly, there seems to be a debate amongst some people if Christians should participate in Easter egg hunts. Some of the rationale stems from the following arguments:

Why NOT to do an Easter egg hunt:

  • It puts more emphasis on getting candy in eggs than the real reason to celebrate the death and resurrection of Christ.
  • The focus becomes a bunny and not Christ. Some even say this is a form of idolatry.

There is definitely a concern that the focus of Easter can easily be directed towards candy, eggs, and bunnies and not the atoning work of Christ. However, I would argue that the issue here is not the activity of an Easter egg hunt but the intentionality of parents. The responsibility to place the focus on Christ lays solely in the hands of parents. Further, something as simple as an Easter egg hunt can become an incredible way to share the Gospel.

Why we should do an Easter egg hunt:

Engage a cultural norm:

Something as simple as an Easter egg hunt is a cultural norm. This is one of the few holidays that religious background is super imposed by a fun activity. So why is that important? As a kid I remember my Hindu and Sikh friends coming over to do easter egg hunts at my house or at the church. These friends would never come for a church service or even for youth group, but something like an Easter egg hunt was not even a question, of course they would come to find candy in these colored eggs. What an incredible opportunity to engage an activity that our culture has embraced to connect people to the Gospel. I agree with Tim Keller as he unpacks the importance of active contextualization in a balanced approach.

“To contextualize with balance and successfully reach people in a culture, we must both enter the culture sympathetically and respectfully (similar to drilling) and confront the culture where it contradicts biblical truth (similar to blasting). ” – Tim Keller

Opportunity to proclaim the Gospel:

Just because we leverage an Easter egg hunt to engage our culture does not mean we do not boldly proclaim the Gospel. In fact, in our bold proclamation some may be offended. I am thankful that it is our responsibility to clearly and boldly proclaim the Gospel and that the Holy Spirit is the one who convicts of sin and does the work or regeneration and sanctification. In fact, proper contextualization and gospel proclamation produces a scandal.

Proper contextualization means causing the right scandal – the one the gospel poses to all sinners…

Click To Tweet

I believe most of us fall short in this area of Gospel proclamation. Therefore we begin to say the issue is the Easter egg hunt, when the issue is our inability to boldly proclaim that while the act of finding eggs is fun, the hero is not a bunny but Jesus Christ who conquered sin and death and made it possible for us to live in right relationship with God who created us.

1 Corinthians 15:19–20 [widescreen]

 

Related Posts:

Why I Love Exodus: Gods and Generals

What Can 50 Shades Teach Us? 

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Theology, Uncategorized Tagged With: Contextuatlization, Easter, Easter Bunny, Easter Egg, Gospel, Tim Keller

The Traveling Dad: The Challenge of Discipline

April 1, 2015 by Joel Muddamalle Leave a Comment

Proverbs 6:20 [widescreen]

When Brittany and I first got married we always wondered who would be the tough parent and the easy parent. I quickly stated that I would be tough.

Moment of honesty:

I don’t like kids. It’s actually true. I’ve never been a kid person. That’s why I’ve always gravitated towards youth ministry and working with high school and college age students rather than little kids.

Hubris:

This experience lead me to believe that I would be immune to the charm, whinny voice, and utter smooth moves from these little creatures we call kids. Then I became a dad. Quickly it became evident that I was not the stoic father that was immune to childish charm. In fact, when it came to my first born, Liam, I fell pray to his wide eyed smile, cry, and whine almost every time. Brittany became the tough “cant get anything past me” mom. Then my second son Levi came. He has a different kind of charm. The kind where he does something incredibly naughty, looks at you in the face, smiles, and in a raspy voice says, love you daddy da. It gets me every time. My third son Lucas is only 4 months old. He already has the half smile with dimple smile down.

Screen Shot 2015-01-05 at 9.24.17 PM

Screen Shot 2015-03-31 at 10.33.14 PM

Traveling Life:

Then our lives took a twist. I transitioned into a new role at work where I spend a considerable more time traveling across the US and sometimes the world to present, speak, and teach workshops at conferences. One side affect I never considered would be how this impacted my desire to discipline my boys. I found myself on the road for 2-4 days at a time. When I came home my first thoughts were not about consistency in parenting or the 3-4 things Brittany had been working on the boys with. It was hugging, kissing, and playing with my boys. Even further, the simple thought of disciplining the boys was hard enough, I couldn’t really bring myself to do it. I became the dad who gave the “last warnings” and “second and ONLY chances”.

I quickly realized (Brittany helped a lot with this!) that my travel schedule was not an excuse for me not being present or active in the discipline of our children. In fact, my sons need discipline from their father. Proverbs 23 has it right, children should listen to their fathers instructions. The only way children can listen to their fathers instructions are if fathers are actually giving instruction!

Ways to be present in the discipline of my kids:

Here are a few ways I have tried to provide some course correction:

  • Stay in the loop while I am away – Its easy to talk about surface level things with Brittany and the boys while I’m away. The best thing I can do is be intentional about what is happening in the lives of my kids and asking my wife how things are going with them. My wife serves as the window into everyday life when I’m gone. Our ability to communicate well is incredibly helpful as I stay in the loop on the wins and challenges at home.
  • Engage in conversation with kids – While I’m away I want to discuss and talk about what has been going one during that day. I want to talk about what happened when Liam got in trouble for hitting his brother. Even though I am in a different state I want my sons to know that daddy is still present and cares about what they are doing. This type of daily recap and recollection is not only helpful for me, but also for my kids to consider the events of the day.
  • Take your kids on dates – I give myself the freedom to have either a fun day. Basically, daddy takes the kids out to have fun. Typically, this just means we order pizza, have sword fights, throw the football around, or go to the park. Being able to just have fun with the kids gives me a release and is helpful as I step back into day to day dad living.
My kids need me to be their dad in all areas of their lives. @Muddamalle

Click To Tweet

I’ve seen the disaster of parents that are physically or emotionally unavailable. It creates lasting challenges for their kids. The benefits of being godly and attentive parents are countless, and we will see those benefits played out as our kids become spouses and parents themselves one day.

**

Share this post and subscribe to my newsletter to ensure you never miss a post!

Related Posts:

  • Four Ways To Stay Married With a Crazy Travel Schedule
  •  Staying Dad While Traveling
  • Being Road Sick

Share this:

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • LinkedIn
  • Email
  • Pinterest

Filed Under: Travel, Uncategorized Tagged With: Christianity, Dads, Discipline, Marriage, Parenting, Travel

  • « Previous Page
  • 1
  • 2
  • 3
  • 4
  • 5
  • 6
  • Next Page »

Joel works at Faithlife Corporation (makers of Logos Bible Software) as a National Conference Presenter. Joel regularly speaks at over 30 conferences and does over 100K miles of travel per year. Prior to Faithlife, Joel served as a pastor. Joel is married to the love of his life Brittany and they have three handsome sons - Liam, Levi, and Lucas.

Top Posts

My Son's Seizure and Praying Psalm 46
Augustine's 7 Steps To Wisdom
Sign Up For A Free 7 Day Devotional Through The Ps…
Should Christians Read Secular Books?
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 
  • 

Recent Posts

  • Exposing Our Prayer Life
  • Monday Devotional: Introduction To Ephesians
  • Finding Hope In The Desert
  • 4 Truths For A Weary Father
  • I Need Your Help! | 2016 Survey

This Month

Follow Me On Twitter!

Tweets by @Muddamalle

Copyright © 2026 · News Pro Theme on Genesis Framework · WordPress · Log in