Joel's Travels

Theology | Bible Study | Leadership

Being Road Sick

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Being Road Sick
I get hesitant to tell people what I do for a living. No matter how I phrase it or describe it people always leave thinking that traveling around the U.S and even to international locations is so incredible. They all think I must be living the life. For those of you that travel for work are already thinking, “they have no idea what they are talking about”.

HONESTY:

I’ll be honest. Traveling is fun. I get to meet a lot of incredible people and see some pretty awesome places. However, the average trip for me goes something like this.
  1. Wake up at 3am to catch a shuttle to Seattle (2.5 hour shuttle ride).
  2. Catch a flight from Seattle to (name the location).
  3. Land and grab a rental car
  4. Drive to the hotel and check in
  5. Head to the conference venue to set up and test audio and video
  6. During the conference I am up at 6:30am and back to the hotel (as I was writing this I actually called the hotel “home” thats how bad it is!). I repeat this while I am at the conference and have to find some time to grab some food.
  7. Drop off the rental car, catch a flight, catch a shuttle, and get home usually around 11pm.
Glamorous enough for you? If you answered yes, Faithlife is hiring.

MY LITTLE SECRET:

Now for the little secret…there are parts of the job that I really love. When I get on a stage and present Logos in front of crowds up 10,000 people it is a thrill. Even better is the response from the crowd when I nail a joke or illustration and they are blown away by how easy it can be to study God’s Word. Some of these things are addicting and there is an adrenaline rush that I can never adequately describe. The only way to experience it is to do it.
Then I get home. I am greeted by an incredible wife that has held down the fort for the last 3-4 days while raising our three kids. Now, when I’m home there is not the same adrenaline rush. There is no place that I would rather be, but the experience of travel can create a false sense of reality. Sometimes I lay awake and begin to dream about the next big conference. And then it hits. I’ve not only created a false sense of reality I am waiting for the next experience.

REALITY:

The conference life and travel is NOT the real world. It is a job. My life is at home and my joy and satisfaction comes first from my understanding of who Christ is and what he has done. Second, it comes from my loving wife, adorable three boys, and even a naughty dog.
Every time I catch myself being road sick I literally preach the Gospel to myself. I have to remember my priorities and what real living is. Authentic relationships with my family and friends.
Some of you may be reading this and are thinking that this may not apply to you, but it does. When was the last time you found yourself dreaming about that dream job, house, career, or anything that is not your identity in Christ and the joy you get from your family? It’s in these times when you begin to long for something that will not satisfy you. In fact, its a cheap substitute that always leaves you empty apart from the greatness of knowing Christ and being known by him.
Philippians 3:8 [widescreen]

Staying Dad While Traveling

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Staying Dad While Traveling
Possibly one of the most significant challenges that I faced when I took the National Presenter role at Faithlife was the impact of travel on my family. As I am reviewing the past year I just hit the 150,000 air mile mark which means my office is really an airplane. As a youth pastor, I have seen the impact of absent fathers. Kids that are craving for the attention of their parent who is chronically missing events and is preoccupied with work. Now, to be fair, the issue is prevalent for both the parent that travels and is physically absent as well as the one who is obsessed with the office and is consistently emotionally and mentally absent. In my circumstance, I find myself physically absent at various times throughout the year. Seeing the affect that the absentee parent has on kids has caused me to be incredibly cautious about my travel and to intentionally pursue being “dadda” while on the road. The following are four things that I pursue to make this happen. I hope they are encouraging for those of you that travel.

1. Facetime

I love FaceTime. It is incredible and allows me to see my kids even when I was across the pond in London earlier this year for the Worship Central Conference. I love having breakfast together with my boys via FaceTime. I have my iPad up and headphones in as I’m grabbing breakfast at the hotel and Liam and Levi join in while they are eating their cereal from home. Sometimes, I can even catch up with them while they are in the car heading to church :).
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2. Keeping a Journal

I keep a journal and do my best to write letters to my boys while I’m on the road. In my mind, this is an investment into their future and will hopefully leave them with dad’s thoughts even when I’m long gone. Further, I get to be apart of some incredible conferences and am learning from the best pastors, theologians, and scholars. I want my boys to have that available to them. Some of you may be surprised, but the journal is an old school written journal. My handwriting is horrible so I do my best to make it legible, but there is something about handwriting letters and journal entries that adds to the experience and character of that journal. Its almost like I am leaving a piece of myself in every journal entry.

3. Praying for my boys

This happens in conjunction with the journal and usually at night after I’m done writing but I want to always keep my boys in prayer. The reality is,

being a dad is not on pause when I step foot on an airplane and then back on play when I’m home.

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 Fatherhood and being a dad is who I am in every city, airplane, hotel, and conference that I step into. So keeping my boys in prayer reminds me of who I am and why I do what I do.

4. Don’t let the road consume you

I am still early in this whole traveling business. I don’t want this to consume my life. There has to be a balance between the road and home. I work for a great company that gives us unlimited time off. As long as I meet my goals and objectives I am free to take time off as I need. So, we try to schedule extended vacations, time with family, and “stay home vacations” into the year to ensure the balance. These go on my calendar and are blocked off. I’ve learned that the things that we hold as important make it on your calendar. My family is important, so they are literally on my calendar.

4 Ways To Stay Married With A Crazy Travel Schedule

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I was at a conference recently in Atlanta and someone asked me where I am from. I responded, the airport.

Staying Married

This last year I have done over 120,000 miles of air travel. I still have a couple more months so the 150,000 mile is still a real possibility with a trip to London coming up for the Worship Central Conference. As some of you are reading this there are typically two thoughts based on your context.

1. The single person thinks – Thats amazing! I wish I could travel like that!
2. The married person thinks – God bless his wife. If my spouse traveled like that there would be some serious problems!

For the single person, it is pretty awesome, at least for the first 20,000 miles. Then the repetition of airport, rental car, hotel, conference venue and repeat gets real old, real fast. However, if you want to experience it yourself, Faithlife is hiring!

For the married person, you’re right. My wife is amazing. She shows an incredible amount of grace and understanding. Beyond that however, is an intentionality to stay connected spiritually and emotionally while I am away. Here are four ways we go about this. If you travel as much as I do or are in a situation where travel may be a reality, I hope this helps you.

Bring visibility to your travel schedule:

Brittany and I have a shared calendar. She knows every trip that is on my calendar. She is able to help me stay accountable in the amount of time I am away. She also is able to see that I may have a long travel stretch in front of me, but there is a good week or two week slot that I have blocked off for family. Maybe even more important, make sure that your blocked of time for your family is actually for your family. No more of the “Babe, just one more email”. Your wife and kids experience half hearted commitments that fall through everyday. Don’t let your commitment to spend time with them be one of those experiences. The shared calendar also helps my wife  to set her expectations while keeping me accountable to my schedule. This also allows for open communication about travel and the impact it is having on her and the boys.

Stay connected to the Word :

We do our best to do shared Bible reading plans together when I am gone. We both have the Faithlife Study Bible App and Logos Bible Software, so we will typical pick a specific reading plan and read through that sharing thoughts via community notes. This engages our minds with the beauty of scripture. As we focus on and delve into the depth of the Word, we are connected in the most meaningful way possible.

Leverage technology to increase your ability to communicate:

Traveling is crazy. Over the last month there have been a ridiculous amounts of cancellations and delays. This makes it hard to jump on the phone to talk to my wife as I am running to the opposite side of the airport to catch a connecting flight. However, I can text her and let her know what is happening. I love the new iOS update that has built in voice memos. Britt and I use this all the time to stay connected on the little things. This way she knows what my day looks like and I can stay connected with whats happening on the home front. Things like FaceTime and Skype are game changers. We try to always FaceTime at night with the kids before they go to bed if possible.

Extend grace:

The most important thing is be gracious to each other. The reality is that I have screwed up more times than I can count. I forget to text or FaceTime. I get preoccupied with my travel woes or the stress of a conference and neglect my reading plans or speaking to my wife. This is where grace plays a crucial role.

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In truth, these are things that are helpful if you have a crazy travel schedule or not. Finally, there is an extra level of responsibility for husbands to lead their families well. I love Ephesians 5:25-29 because we see clearly that the responsibility and great privilege of the husband is in cleansing his wife with the washing of the Word. Marriage is an incredible gift of God.

What are some things that you do to ensure a healthy marriage? Let me know in the comments section below!

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