Joel's Travels

Theology | Bible Study | Leadership

4 Ways To Stay Productive While Traveling

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Staying Productive

Traveling is hard. When I was younger (it’s scary I even wrote that phrase) I always dreamed of being able to travel and see the world! Well, God gave me my wish and while I appreciate the travel, it has proven to be really challenging. As of writing this post I just crossed 90,000 air miles for the year and I still have six major trips left.

As I consider how I’ve survived this year, I’ve been surprised to find that there are seasons where I feel like I am incredibly productive. Then, there are seasons where I am surprised I can even keep up and remember to jump on a flight. After evaluating my productive seasons, I found the following principles crucial in my ability to accomplish everything I need to with excellence.

Rest and Reward:

Get the right amount of rest that your body needs. Train yourself to sleep at the right time so that when you have to wake up, you do so refreshed. For me, I’ve found that I need at least 8 hours of sleep. I’ve also found that TV, iPad, and my computer are serious distractions to getting the rest that I need. My iPad may be the biggest culprit. I love reading on it, but it’s only a click of a button to get to my ESPN Fantasy team or start researching on food places for the next trip I have, or get to that last email quickly. I didn’t want to give up reading, and I didn’t want a print book, so instead I was able to pick up the Amazon Voyager. Its amazing and has a simple function, to let you read. The benefit of rest is priceless. It allows your mind to be sharp and for you to be more effective in thought process.

Be Smart With Technology:

As I mentioned earlier, technology can’t always be assumed as helpful. However, when used thoughtfully and with intention it can be a game changer in how productive you are. There are so many apps, tools, and resources that I use, but the ones that I always go to are:

  • Evernote – Its the best. If your not using it, your missing out. It serves as my digital brain and stores everything I need. Recently I purchased the premium version and I love it!
  • Wunderlist – Its a simple task list app that syncs across all your devices. Its not overly complicated and works seamlessly across all my devices.
  • All Apple – I drank the Koolade, and I love it. Seriously, all my devices are apple. My wife even got me an apple watch and I have grown found of it. However, if you are on the other side, seriously consider the devices that you have. Do they all play well together? Do the research and ensure that they do, its a world of difference
  • Kindle Voyager – For distraction free reading, its amazing. I have found that I can actually read longer staring at the screen and I don’t get a headache.

Dig Deeper Into The Word:

This is honestly one of the most overlooked disciplines in my life.

My passionate pursuit of the Word of God sets the stage for everything else in life @Muddamalle

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.As I am anchored in the Word I find a sense of balance. I am reminded why I do what I do and encouraged in knowing that I serve a great God who is gentle and kind with us. If you are looking for a great free resource to get started, get the Faithlife Study Bible. It’s incredible.

Have Fun:

Seriously, have fun. Make sure you carve out time to enjoy life. Whether that’s playing sports, watching a movie, or taking a walk; do it. Life gets busy and we have a lot to do but neglecting what makes us happy and refreshes us is a huge mistake!

 

Bridging Two Worlds: Ethnicity and Church

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Church and Ethnicty

I grew up in a traditional Indian family. 90 percent of our meals were Indian food, curry, naan, white rice, and for some special occasions my mom would make her famous lamb Hyderbadi Biryani. Needless to say, Indian culture was deeply rooted and emphasized in my life. However, I always felt a tension between the culture that I went home to and the culture that I found myself living in outside of my home. While the culture in my school and community emphasized a specific way of living it seemed my home life in some areas simply had a difference of opinion and in other areas out right contradicted each other.

It wasn’t long before I experienced this exact tension in the four corners of the church. I found myself going to an “Indian” church that usually met on Saturdays or Sunday afternoons, while also going to “American” church on Sunday mornings. I found the same tension exists between these two churches. Further, I found myself smack in between. Recently, I’ve had the opportunity to be apart of some great conferences that are tackling the ethnicity and race issue within the church. It has been incredibly encouraging and helpful to sit under, listen to, and read pastors and theologians like Crawford and Bryan Lorrits, Derwin L. Gray, Albert Tate, and Matt Chandler deal with the race and ethnicity issue from a biblical framework. As I’ve listened to these incredible men of God discuss, dialogue, and inform this topic I began to consider my own context and dilemma.

The Dilemma – My parents prefer an Indian Church and I prefer an american church. How do we deal with the segregation of churches based on racial/ethnic identification.

So, there we have it. Some would argue that this is an issue that is isolated to immigrants and will not be an issue for those born in the U.S regardless of ethnicity. I would disagree. What we forget is how this issue impacts the children of those that immigrated to the U.S. Speaking as one of those children, the impact is significant. I believe I began to compartmentalize the Gospel based on ethnicity and culture, rather then seeing the holistic beauty of the body of Christ.

As I consider the reasons for a segregation of church based on ethnicity I believe it comes down to some form of comfort. The comfort of language, understanding jokes and having a common framework to build friendship upon, the similarity of being of the same ethnicity and understanding the challenges of coming to a new place. I can empathize with these reasons. However, I believe the healthiest thing for the church is not a “segregation” but an “inclusion” of all people types. Ultimately, my friend Derwin Gray unpacks the core root of the issue as he states, “The reason the church is segregated is that we don’t believe deeply enough in the power of the cross.”.

Colossians 3:11 answers how we should proceed the best. Simply put, there is not race or ethnicity but Christ is all.

COl 3

Therefore, our gatherings should be reflective of the community that we live in. We should celebrate and invite ethnicity into our church building while leaving a sense of “superiority aside.

We should celebrate and invite ethnicity into our church building while leaving a sense of…

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Dr. John Piper describes it this way:

“Where people have died with Christ and been created as a new self in the image of God, this canyon (race/ethnicity)* will not stop love and fellowship.”  – John Piper

Dr. Piper is making an observation that after we have been crucified with Christ and have become new in Christ, there is no distinction, separation, or barrier. This extends into love and fellowship amongst believer.

The issue of comfort can be solved with a church leadership team that is intentionally looking for ways to provide venues to meet such needs. This may be done in the form of a community or small group. Even more important, children see the beauty of ethnicity and culture in how God designed us. Our children grow up with a holistic view of God that includes every ethnicity and culture.

This requires sacrifice. Its a sacrifice to lay what is comfortable aside to do what is best in light of the Word of God and our families, churches, and communities.

Bridging Two Worlds: Culture and Church

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Bridging Two Worlds

The church is made up of people. People live in cities, neighborhoods, and interact with other people. Each person is influenced in both passive and assertive ways via means of tv and social media. So, how do we engage our culture? Should the church engage culture? How can the church leverage culture for the sake of making Jesus famous?

It’s hard for me to even begin this conversation without considering Acts 17:26-29. We learn that the city, the neighborhood, and even the street that we live in, was ordained and put into place by God. If we have been placed in a specific location by God, it would be good for us to also know the cultural and social climate of that place. In short, we have to be students of our culture. I love traveling and seeing what God is doing in various cities and communities. I love hearing pastors and church planters tell me how they are reaching their communities. There is a real danger for all of us to look elsewhere to see what is successful and attempt to replicate that system, process, or plan. The real work of ministry, in fact, is contextualization. It is looking at our culture and identifying where the Gospel informs the broken and hurting aspects of our communities and neighborhoods.

The church is in desperate need of active, intentional, and balanced contextualization – @Muddamalle

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3 Ways We Can Accomplish This

Be aware of your cultural blinders

We all are predisposed or bent towards a certain way. Tim Keller calls this our cultural blinders. This issue of cultural blinders affects every area of our life, not just the church. It is easy for us to assume a cultural perspective based on one that we lived in. All of a sudden we begin to create, build, and strategize around cultural assumptions that are derived from past experience. Possibly the first thing we must do is recognize that we do have cultural blinders and then intentionally deconstruct them so that we can accurately engage the context that God has placed us in.

Pay attention to your immediate context

We can learn a lot from the very streets that we live in. Each of our neighborhoods are made of people that have a culture, past, and story. It is very common for people of the same culture or group to live near each other. Our ability to learn and understand the motivation of these people groups will be vital in our ability to speak to them in a way that is affective and relatable. It’s easy for us to begin talking and sharing and speaking from our own perspective. However, in doing this we loose the opportunity to speak in a way that is winsome and directed towards the persons actual life and context.

Make a serious effort to acknowledge and understand their objections

Its easy for us to jump right into the conversation and begin to give a defense for the Gospel. But, have we actually seriously considered, thought about, and engaged with the objection that people have to the Gospel? We live in a world that is filled with tragedy, turmoil, and seemingly constant destruction. It’s not that difficult for anyone to become negative or pessimistic about the possibility of a good God in the midst of this fallen depraved world. However, its these very objections that serve as platforms to meaningfully engage those within our community in a way that speaks to deepest hurts that they have experienced. In fact, it is in these areas that we must boldly proclaim the good news of the Gospel.

Tim Keller captures all three comments perfectly.

Tim Keller Quote

 

Introducing: Bridging Two Worlds Series

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Bridging Two Worlds

Earlier in the year I wrote a post about bridging the gap between music and the Word. You can read it here.

I realized quickly that this concept of bridging two worlds is much larger than just music and the Word. It affects all areas of life, church, and ministry. Augustine is famous for his writings on what he calls the two cities in his book “The City of God”. Throughout the pages we read the tension and the contrast between the City of man and City of God.

This same tension exists today, however, we also feel it within the borders of the church and how it relates to modern day culture. With various opinions, methodologies, and preferences, it can become difficult to see what we have in common. It’s even harder to see where our differences can be bridged and become helpful.

What follows in this series are some practical ways we can begin to bridge the gap between:

Culture and Church:

The church is made up of people. People live in cities, neighborhoods, and interact with other people. Each person is influenced in both passive and assertive ways via means of tv and social media. So how do we engage our culture? How can the church leverage culture for the sake of making Jesus famous?

Nationality, Ethnicity, and the Church:

Heaven will be made up of every race, skin color, and ethnicity possible. Yet sadly, the church can be one of the most segregated places. How can the local church relate to ethnicity as it is inevitably apart of the church? What does it look like to be a multi ethnic church?

Youth Ministry and the Church:

As a former youth pastor I know first hand the great joys and sorrows that come with youth ministry. I also know the danger of youth pastors creating a “sub church” culture. How can churches embrace, engage, love, and support youth ministries?

The Goal:

That we would see what we have in common, identify areas that can be come distractions and cause divisiveness, and carefully contextualize in order to see the Gospel advanced within our communities.

The New Cool: Blasting Preachers On Your Blog

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The New Cool

This is a difficult post for me to write. I’ve consulted some trusted friends on this before writing as I want to ensure that this is not a knee jerk response to the countless blogs out there that are going after pastors and ministry leaders** through social media and blasting them on blogs and other platforms.

I recognize that these type of posts are attractive to people. How do I know? Just take a look at the social shares these posts are getting and the publicity that the authors receive. At the end, these type of posts drive clicks and ensure page visits and views. However, I have seriously begun to consider the cost? How does this affect the church “universal”? Is it positive, negative, or neutral? Do these posts even matter in the long run?

A few months back I wrote a post asking people to pray for Mark Driscoll. Today, I see posts that continue to put him on blast. I wonder…have we really taken time to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to intervene and do a change that our best blog post could never obtain?

So what’s the dilemma? Why do I fear writing this post?

The Dilemma:

I think that pastors, teachers, and leaders need to be held accountable to their actions. This is a very biblical concept and this is done through a local church context. I realize that the larger the platform the larger the reach these individuals have with their message. It’s nerve racking to think that the message communicated to people about the Gospel and scriptures are inaccurate. So, should there be accountability? Yes! But who is responsible to provide the accountability and how should it be done?

Before you write your next post blasting someone, ask yourself: Is this is a conviction that I feel the Holy Spirit leading me to and is it supported by scripture?

Internal Motivation:

I think if we were honest with ourselves most of us would come to the realization that our motivation to write and put people on blast is more about ourselves and what we receive than about the good of the other person and the church at large. I can relate to Jeremiah (Jer 17:9-11) as he describes the condition of the human heart.

9  The heart is deceitful above all things,

and desperately sick;

who can understand it?

10  “I the Lord search the heart

and test the mind,

to give every man according to his ways,

according to the fruit of his deeds.”

Jer 17

Our motivations may be fueled by a desire to build our own platform and influence. @Muddamalle

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After prayer and consideration, if we find that our motivation is rooted in a desire to build our own platform or influence, it’s better to stop writing than allow our platform and influence to grow. There is more challenge and danger that is waiting for us if our internal motivation is not considered. Further, the biblical model of correction seems to occur within a local context. The local church elders and those that are apart of accountability for a pastor, teacher, and leader. The weight of responsibility falls on these individuals for the process of correction and addressing issues and concerns.

Possible Damage:

I can’t help but consider what the world thinks of us as they look behind the curtains and see Christians at each other’s throat’s. What kind of witness does this accomplish, if any? I believe it’s worth noting the tension that we find in Titus 2 and 3. We see a call and clear direction to teach sound doctrine. Similarly, we are also called to be in good standing within our community. In fact, Titus 2 ends with a specific command. Paul states, “Let no one disregard you”. Again, I can’t help but consider that there are people out there that disregard christians because it seems like we look no different from anyone else. In fact, in some ways things look worse because there are continuous civil wars occurring. As we turn to the opening versus of Titus 3 Paul turns his attention to how believers should conduct themselves. In the age of social media I believe these words are more timely now than ever before. Take a moment to consider the words of the Apostle Paul.

3 Remind them to be submissive to rulers and authorities, to be obedient, to be ready for every good work, 2 to speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people. 3 For we ourselves were once foolish, disobedient, led astray, slaves to various passions and pleasures, passing our days in malice and envy, hated by others and hating one another. 4 But when the goodness and loving kindness of God our Savior appeared, 5 he saved us, not because of works done by us in righteousness, but according to his own mercy, by the washing of regeneration and renewal of the Holy Spirit,

While the context of this passage is in relation to “rulers and authorities” the command to show perfect courtesy toward “all people” does in fact mean, “ALL PEOPLE”. Even if we are not under the authority or submission to these “celebrity” pastors we should still show them a certain level of respect and honor (1 Th 5:12-13, 1 Ti 5:17) while balancing the biblical mandate to stand up for and speak truth.

Again, I’m not saying that we shouldn’t stand up for truth. Simply that we should do it in a manner that is honoring and fits our context. Engage in meaningful discussion with friends, in your small group, at your church, and if you post anything public be considerate about your tone and content in the post. Do what’s helpful for the church and follow your convictions as they are guided by the Holy Spirit and the Word of God.

Final Consideration:

Consider your platform and influence. In all honesty, if these things should be addressed I have a feeling that there are individuals in equal platform and influence that can and do address these issues. Simply sharing those articles can be helpful. Also, many of these pastors have Q/A sessions for their blogs or through twitter. Take time to ask these questions through those mediums and see how they respond.

I am convinced that building my platform will result in failure, so I’d rather make Jesus famous.

Conversation:

Please check out my clarification point below, first.

Now, I’d love to hear your thoughts! What do you agree with, what confuses you, where do your completely disagree? Feel free to post a comment on this post, on my Facebook page, or tweet to me @muddamalle. Looking forward to engaging in healthy and helpful conversation.

** Clarification * – The “preachers” who I am referring to that are being singled out are making headlines of blogs  are within the body the Christ. They are brothers and sisters in Christ and while what they say may be controversial they would not fall into the category of “False Teachers”. Therefore, my request for caution in our response is in light of this important fact.

How My Watch Keeps My Priorities Straight

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Watch

I was on a flight from Virginia back home to Seattle recently and the person next to me asked me what time it was. I went to my phone and told them the time. They looked at me puzzled and said, “why look at your phone when you are wearing a watch?”.

My watch being the wrong time when I travel is the best thing for me because it helps me keep my priorities. So why don’t I change my watch when I land in a different state? It’s pretty simple. I always want to know what time it is at home. My watch is a simple and easy reminder that what is most important to me is in a different state. Every time I look at my watch I am reminded to think about and pray for my wife and kids. When people ask me why my watch is wrong and I don’t change it, I can tell them about my family and whats most important to me.

On a practical note, it allows me to be aware of my families schedule. When I travel I am usually caught up in the conference schedule. But having my watch I am able to tell when my kids are getting ready to go down for a nap or when they are getting ready to go to bed. I can catch them before meals or join them via FaceTime for breakfast. I found early on that if I didn’t have these types of built in reminders the day could get away from me. The business of travel and conferences combined with my families own schedule often had us at odd’s for touching base and talking. This simple method keeps me connected to my family.

Why is it important to stay connected?

1. The traveling life has the ability to sap you of your time and energy quickly.

While it was fun traveling to different states early on, the cost on my family began to show itself. Like everything in life that is important, we need to put checks and balances into place to keep them important. I’ve had the opportunity to sit next to some executives of large companies. Most of these people are world travelers and like me, feel like they live on the road. Interestingly, many of them have broken families and all of them at some point in the conversation tell me to keep tabs on the work, travel, family balance.

2. It sets a precedent for my kids.

When they get older and start their own careers they will be influenced heavily by what they see in me and their mom. Everyone of our actions affects our kids. The way we dress, talk, interact with others, and our work habits. By making my family a priority and putting these practices into place my kids will grow up understanding that this is important for their own work and family life.

3. It reminds me of what is important.

I do my work for a variety of reasons. But most important is to provide for my family. If I slip away and begin to get disconnected from my family because of work, that seems a bit counterproductive. Staying connected and putting these practices into place keeps a healthy balance and sets the priorities in my life.

Regardless of if you travel across the world for work or have a 30 minute commute into the office make sure you do everything in your power to keep your family as a priority.

3 Ways to Respond to Criticism

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Criticism

I’ve called it numerous things in the past. A pursuit of excellence, paying attention to detail, just wanting everything to be the best it can be, but finally I realized that the best definition for my behavior was simply; being critical. The funny thing is, I hate it when people are critical of me.

My critical nature robs me of joy, every time. Other peoples criticism of me leaves me deflated.

The pleasure of criticizing robs us of the better pleasure of unconscious delight

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Spurgeon helps us see that there is value even in friends who are critical.

Spurgeon Quotes Critics

So how do we respond to criticism? Should we respond to criticism? Yes, we should respond to criticism. However, its more complex than that. Sometimes we need to address those that are being critical and at other times we need to address the criticism privately with ourselves. The latter sounds crazy, but its the most helpful approach to criticism that I have found.

1. Respond:

If you are responding to the person who is being critical and addressing the issue, do so both prayerfully and with an extra measure of grace. Again, sounds crazy but most biblical responses are crazy. The individual being critical with you is doing so out of a lack of grace. The reasons could be numerous, but more often than not, its simply because they have never been shown grace. Take this opportunity to show grace to the person. Let them know how their approach made you feel. First, start with anything they said that may have been accurate and true. This introspection will help them see that your response is not knee jerk but a thoughtful response that takes into consideration what they said, regardless of how they said it.

2. Respond Personally:

Don’t respond directly to the individual. Sometimes its not helpful. The result could be more damaging that restorative and relationship building. In these instances still address the criticism but do so personally. Consider what the individual said and their background or perspective. Now ask if there was any truth in what they said. Do your best to remove the emotion and the delivery method. Surprisingly, there may be something that is incredibly helpful. Our ability to pull apart the truth regardless of how the message was delivered is essential in our personal development and applies to al areas of our life.

3. Forgive, Release, Act:

Act on what was true in the message and forgive and release the person that delivered the message in a hurtful manner. Part of our maturity both spiritually and emotionally affects our ability to forgive. Often, our pre-requisite to forgiveness is the other person being willing to forgive us or acknowledge their own faults. The best thing you could do for yourself personally, is truly forgive others regardless of how they respond or what they do. Finally, put in place a plan to change whatever the other person points out. Regardless of how you received the information, it’s yours now. So be wise and accountable to that and put in place the action steps to change what you need to.

Bonus: Don’t let criticism get under your skin. The poet Tasso says is well as he responds to his enemies speaking ill and criticizing his works:

“I am not disturbed. How much better it is that he speak ill of me to all the world than that all the world should speak ill of me to him”.

 

Big Changes For The Muddamalle Family

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Big Changes

No. We are not having another baby.

However, there is a big change for us. My wife (Brittany) and I are excited to share that we are making a big move in the next 4 weeks. We will be moving to Chicago, more specifically, the suburbs south of Chicago where I grew up. Before anyone panics, this is NOT a job change. I’ll still be working for Faithlife as a National Conference Speaker. This move actually has a lot to do with my job. Why uproot and move my family after 3 years in Bellingham, WA? Well, it really boils down to these two reasons.

1. Travel

It’s hard to have a job where you spend most of your time in an airplane and have to fly from the pacific northwest. The time change, connections, and location all add up to days away from my family. By making a move to become more central, I will instantly cut down on travel days and be able to spend more time with my wife and kids. I’ve always been a strong believer in putting your family ahead of any ministry. I believe this is also the same for vocation. This move places my family as a priority.

2. Indian Culture

Brittany and I have always wanted to raise our kids with an immersion into Indian culture. Realistically, the best way that can happen is to be around it. While we have absolutely loved our time in California and Washington, we are excited to expose our three boys to more of the Indian side of of their heritage. I have an extensive Indian community in Chicago that I grew up in. I’m excited for my boys to be near their “uncles” and “aunties” and experience some awesome Indian weddings, prayer meetings, and parties. Even better, my immediate family will be about 2-4 hours away. We are really excited to be close to everyone!

Bonus:

Deep dish pizza. Enough said.

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This is just from my perspective. Get my wife’s thoughts on this on her blog. She gives more details into the family and culture side of things.

We plan on making the move in mid June. I have lots of conferences in the summer so adding a move into the mix is a bit challenging. If you guys are thinking about our family, I would love your prayers! If you are in the Chicagoland area, shoot me an email or like my Facebook page and comment. I’d love to connect!

 

 

3 Ways To Pray For Baltimore

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Pray for Baltimore

It’s making the headlines everywhere your turn. Your favorite news app, the tv, the newspaper, and any other place where information is being shared, the Baltimore riots. While many are writing about various aspects of this issue, I simply want to encourage Christians to respond in a thoughtful, gospel centered, and God honoring fashion.

First, the affects of these riots will surpass just the city of Baltimore and will be the baseline that others will turn to as tragedy occurs in other cities just as Baltimore is responding to the events surrounding Freddie Gray’s death. Dr. Martin Luther King Jr helps us understand the rationale for riots as he states,

A riot is the language of the unheard – Dr. Martin Luther King Jr.

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In regards to the limitations of riots Dr. King states further:

The limitation of riots, moral questions aside, is that they cannot win and their participants know it. Hence, rioting is not revolutionary but reactionary because it invites defeat. It involves and emotional catharsis, but it must be followed by a sense of futility. – Martin Luther King, Jr.

Therefore we are always faced with the question of response. How do we respond in light of such tragedy, pain, and heartache? I believe the mandated response for all believers is – Prayer.

Unfortunatley, this may be the most overlooked or assumed response. In fact, many of us say we are “praying” but never actually spend time in intentional prayer for all those affected by the riots. This may be partially because we lack a proper understanding of the theology of prayer. What actually occurs when we pray? Let’s start with a definition of prayer. Harpers Bible Dictionary states:

Prayer is – the act of petitioning, praising, giving thanks, or confessing to God; it is expressed by several different words in both the OT and NT. Prayer can be individual or corporate, audible or silent. It is conditioned by the biblical understanding of God as a personal being who hears the prayers of his people. 

If we believe that our prayers are heard by the creator of the universe who is personal and takes active part of human history, this should motivate us to spend dedicated and intentional time in prayer. Here are 3 ways we can be in prayer for all those affected in the Baltimore riots:

1. Pray for the family of Freddie Gray – This family is hurting, confused, and dealing with so much pain and agony. Pray that the Holy Spirit would bring comfort, understanding, and peace to this family. Further, pray for salvation and the Holy Spirit’s effectual calling of these family members.

2. Pray for the police and law enforcement – Police and law enforcement have put their lives on the line and their bodies in danger to protect the city and other people. Pray for peace for the families of these officers. I can only imagine the countless wives, children, husbands, mothers, and fathers that wait anxiously for their loved ones to come home.

3. Pray for the Gospel to transform the city of Baltimore – While this riot is a poor attempt to cause transformation and force politicians, judges, and law enforcement officials to hear the voice and concern of those rioting, the only true source of change and transformation can be through the power of the Gospel.

The Gospel is the ONLY means of effective transformation for the city of Baltimore via @muddamalle

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Finally, pray that the Gospel would invade the lives of every person living within the city of Baltimore. Pray for the pastors and churches in the city that are facing the daunting task of shepherding and counseling countless families.

If you made it through this entire post, pray right now. #PrayForBaltimore

 

[1] Paul J. Achtemeier, Harper & Row and Society of Biblical Literature, Harper’s Bible Dictionary (San Francisco: Harper & Row, 1985), 816.

The Traveling Dad: Parents, Go On The Offensive

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Go on the offensive

Kids came fast for Brittany and I. We had a plan but God seems to reign sovereign in all areas. I was finishing up graduate school and still had about year left when we found out we were pregnant with Liam. Fast forward three and a half years and we have Liam, Levi, and a brand new baby boy Lucas.

People have some great advice as new additions join the family. Probably my favorite and most common goes something likes this.

When you have one kid it’s great. You can both tag team the child. With two kids things get a little tricky, you transition to a man to man defense. When you have your third everything falls apart as you maintain a zone defense.

I began to think about this analogy and realized that after the first child parents at time switch from offensive play to a posture of defense. But why? Why are we reactive towards our kids and not pro active? Why are we responding to their actions and not informing how they think and make decisions?

Parents, its time to go on the offensive.

I don’t think this is intentional. For most of us, we are just trying to figure things out. As we attempt to figure things out we land in this defensive posture. However, maintaining doesn’t produce growth or progress. It eventually leaves us in a stagnant place.

Our kids not only require our best offensive pursuit but they deserve it. @Muddamalle

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I realized now as an adult the majority of how I perceive the world and come to judgements and decisions is a direct result of how I was raised. Values, system, and beliefs, were instilled into me as a child and affect every thought and decision. We have the great opportunity to create the framework that our kids will rely on as adults. While we all wish that we will always be around to give our kids advice, we don’t know what the future holds. Therefore, being intentional now will be a benefit in the future.

Here are a few areas that require parents to be active in the lives of their children:

  1. Discipline – Your kids need it. There is time for friendship later in life, first, be their parent.
  2. Friendships – Be involved in the life of your kids. What kind of friends do they have? Do they have challenges with any friends or peers. Be a listening ear and offer advice and support when you can
  3. Church – Be active and set the example for the importance of being apart of the local church. We don’t question if kids need to go to school do we? So why make it optional for them to go to church? Set priorities and lead by example
  4. Family time – Set aside time to be together as a family. My kids are still young but I am already panicking over how big they are getting and how fast time is passing us by. If you are intentional about spending time together as a family early on, it wont be a question later on.

More posts from the Traveling Dad Series:

The Challenge of Discipline

Will I Mess Up My Kids?

The Pursuit of Consistency

 

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