Family – Joel's Travels

How My Watch Keeps My Priorities Straight

Joel Muddamalle — Sun, 24 May 2015 05:29:36 +0000

I was on a flight from Virginia back home to Seattle recently and the person next to me asked me what time it was. I went to my phone and told them the time. They looked at me puzzled and said, “why look at your phone when you are wearing a watch?”.

My watch being the wrong time when I travel is the best thing for me because it helps me keep my priorities. So why don’t I change my watch when I land in a different state? It’s pretty simple. I always want to know what time it is at home. My watch is a simple and easy reminder that what is most important to me is in a different state. Every time I look at my watch I am reminded to think about and pray for my wife and kids. When people ask me why my watch is wrong and I don’t change it, I can tell them about my family and whats most important to me.

On a practical note, it allows me to be aware of my families schedule. When I travel I am usually caught up in the conference schedule. But having my watch I am able to tell when my kids are getting ready to go down for a nap or when they are getting ready to go to bed. I can catch them before meals or join them via FaceTime for breakfast. I found early on that if I didn’t have these types of built in reminders the day could get away from me. The business of travel and conferences combined with my families own schedule often had us at odd’s for touching base and talking. This simple method keeps me connected to my family.

Why is it important to stay connected?

1. The traveling life has the ability to sap you of your time and energy quickly.

While it was fun traveling to different states early on, the cost on my family began to show itself. Like everything in life that is important, we need to put checks and balances into place to keep them important. I’ve had the opportunity to sit next to some executives of large companies. Most of these people are world travelers and like me, feel like they live on the road. Interestingly, many of them have broken families and all of them at some point in the conversation tell me to keep tabs on the work, travel, family balance.

2. It sets a precedent for my kids.

When they get older and start their own careers they will be influenced heavily by what they see in me and their mom. Everyone of our actions affects our kids. The way we dress, talk, interact with others, and our work habits. By making my family a priority and putting these practices into place my kids will grow up understanding that this is important for their own work and family life.

3. It reminds me of what is important.

I do my work for a variety of reasons. But most important is to provide for my family. If I slip away and begin to get disconnected from my family because of work, that seems a bit counterproductive. Staying connected and putting these practices into place keeps a healthy balance and sets the priorities in my life.

Regardless of if you travel across the world for work or have a 30 minute commute into the office make sure you do everything in your power to keep your family as a priority.

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Big Changes For The Muddamalle Family

Joel Muddamalle — Mon, 18 May 2015 06:17:07 +0000

No. We are not having another baby.

However, there is a big change for us. My wife (Brittany) and I are excited to share that we are making a big move in the next 4 weeks. We will be moving to Chicago, more specifically, the suburbs south of Chicago where I grew up. Before anyone panics, this is NOT a job change. I’ll still be working for Faithlife as a National Conference Speaker. This move actually has a lot to do with my job. Why uproot and move my family after 3 years in Bellingham, WA? Well, it really boils down to these two reasons.

1. Travel

It’s hard to have a job where you spend most of your time in an airplane and have to fly from the pacific northwest. The time change, connections, and location all add up to days away from my family. By making a move to become more central, I will instantly cut down on travel days and be able to spend more time with my wife and kids. I’ve always been a strong believer in putting your family ahead of any ministry. I believe this is also the same for vocation. This move places my family as a priority.

2. Indian Culture

Brittany and I have always wanted to raise our kids with an immersion into Indian culture. Realistically, the best way that can happen is to be around it. While we have absolutely loved our time in California and Washington, we are excited to expose our three boys to more of the Indian side of of their heritage. I have an extensive Indian community in Chicago that I grew up in. I’m excited for my boys to be near their “uncles” and “aunties” and experience some awesome Indian weddings, prayer meetings, and parties. Even better, my immediate family will be about 2-4 hours away. We are really excited to be close to everyone!

Bonus:

Deep dish pizza. Enough said.

This is just from my perspective. Get my wife’s thoughts on this on her blog. She gives more details into the family and culture side of things.

We plan on making the move in mid June. I have lots of conferences in the summer so adding a move into the mix is a bit challenging. If you guys are thinking about our family, I would love your prayers! If you are in the Chicagoland area, shoot me an email or like my Facebook page and comment. I’d love to connect!

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The Traveling Dad: Parents, Go On The Offensive

Joel Muddamalle — Mon, 27 Apr 2015 17:08:50 +0000

Kids came fast for Brittany and I. We had a plan but God seems to reign sovereign in all areas. I was finishing up graduate school and still had about year left when we found out we were pregnant with Liam. Fast forward three and a half years and we have Liam, Levi, and a brand new baby boy Lucas.

People have some great advice as new additions join the family. Probably my favorite and most common goes something likes this.

When you have one kid it’s great. You can both tag team the child. With two kids things get a little tricky, you transition to a man to man defense. When you have your third everything falls apart as you maintain a zone defense.

I began to think about this analogy and realized that after the first child parents at time switch from offensive play to a posture of defense. But why? Why are we reactive towards our kids and not pro active? Why are we responding to their actions and not informing how they think and make decisions?

Parents, its time to go on the offensive.

I don’t think this is intentional. For most of us, we are just trying to figure things out. As we attempt to figure things out we land in this defensive posture. However, maintaining doesn’t produce growth or progress. It eventually leaves us in a stagnant place.

Our kids not only require our best offensive pursuit but they deserve it. @Muddamalle
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I realized now as an adult the majority of how I perceive the world and come to judgements and decisions is a direct result of how I was raised. Values, system, and beliefs, were instilled into me as a child and affect every thought and decision. We have the great opportunity to create the framework that our kids will rely on as adults. While we all wish that we will always be around to give our kids advice, we don’t know what the future holds. Therefore, being intentional now will be a benefit in the future.

Here are a few areas that require parents to be active in the lives of their children:

Discipline – Your kids need it. There is time for friendship later in life, first, be their parent.
Friendships – Be involved in the life of your kids. What kind of friends do they have? Do they have challenges with any friends or peers. Be a listening ear and offer advice and support when you can
Church – Be active and set the example for the importance of being apart of the local church. We don’t question if kids need to go to school do we? So why make it optional for them to go to church? Set priorities and lead by example
Family time – Set aside time to be together as a family. My kids are still young but I am already panicking over how big they are getting and how fast time is passing us by. If you are intentional about spending time together as a family early on, it wont be a question later on.

Being Road Sick

Joel Muddamalle — Sat, 21 Mar 2015 20:01:33 +0000

I get hesitant to tell people what I do for a living. No matter how I phrase it or describe it people always leave thinking that traveling around the U.S and even to international locations is so incredible. They all think I must be living the life. For those of you that travel for work are already thinking, “they have no idea what they are talking about”.

HONESTY:

I’ll be honest. Traveling is fun. I get to meet a lot of incredible people and see some pretty awesome places. However, the average trip for me goes something like this.

Wake up at 3am to catch a shuttle to Seattle (2.5 hour shuttle ride).
Catch a flight from Seattle to (name the location).
Land and grab a rental car
Drive to the hotel and check in
Head to the conference venue to set up and test audio and video
During the conference I am up at 6:30am and back to the hotel (as I was writing this I actually called the hotel “home” thats how bad it is!). I repeat this while I am at the conference and have to find some time to grab some food.
Drop off the rental car, catch a flight, catch a shuttle, and get home usually around 11pm.

Glamorous enough for you? If you answered yes, Faithlife is hiring.

MY LITTLE SECRET:

Now for the little secret…there are parts of the job that I really love. When I get on a stage and present Logos in front of crowds up 10,000 people it is a thrill. Even better is the response from the crowd when I nail a joke or illustration and they are blown away by how easy it can be to study God’s Word. Some of these things are addicting and there is an adrenaline rush that I can never adequately describe. The only way to experience it is to do it.

Then I get home. I am greeted by an incredible wife that has held down the fort for the last 3-4 days while raising our three kids. Now, when I’m home there is not the same adrenaline rush. There is no place that I would rather be, but the experience of travel can create a false sense of reality. Sometimes I lay awake and begin to dream about the next big conference. And then it hits. I’ve not only created a false sense of reality I am waiting for the next experience.

REALITY:

The conference life and travel is NOT the real world. It is a job. My life is at home and my joy and satisfaction comes first from my understanding of who Christ is and what he has done. Second, it comes from my loving wife, adorable three boys, and even a naughty dog.

Every time I catch myself being road sick I literally preach the Gospel to myself. I have to remember my priorities and what real living is. Authentic relationships with my family and friends.

Some of you may be reading this and are thinking that this may not apply to you, but it does. When was the last time you found yourself dreaming about that dream job, house, career, or anything that is not your identity in Christ and the joy you get from your family? It’s in these times when you begin to long for something that will not satisfy you. In fact, its a cheap substitute that always leaves you empty apart from the greatness of knowing Christ and being known by him.

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4 Ways My Affections For God Were Stirred Through Lucas’ Birth

Joel Muddamalle — Sun, 07 Dec 2014 02:43:14 +0000

It feels like it was just yesterday that I was in a hospital in Roseville, CA waiting for my first son Liam to be born. Fast forward four years and I found myself in a hospital in Bellingham, WA on December 2nd at 8pm waiting for my third son Lucas. And then he came. My wife is incredible. As I learned early on, she is not the norm in terms of child birth. Actually, her first doctor in Roseville said that she was designed to have babies. Brittany’s active labor’s have all been under 10 minutes. This recent one was 7 minutes.

I have been contemplating what occurred in those seven minutes, and found that at the end, in the beginning, and during, my affections for God were stirred. When I say that I mean, I found myself in awe and wonder of God through the process of Lucas coming into this world. Lucas’ birth did following within me:

1. It magnified the creative brilliance of God

It literally blows my mind to consider that two people can come together to produce life. Even more incredible, is that our ability to produce life is predicated on the creative brilliance of God to create us in a way to allow this. Often times we are short sited in our perspective of the incredible. Its incredible that Brittany and I could produce life, but that is just the tip of the iceberg. The real magnificence is the one who designed humanity. From conception, 39 weeks of pregnancy, labor, and finally the entrance of Lucas, I can’t begin to imagine that this was not with design. That by chance molecules, genetics, and DNA all came together to allow child birth doesn’t really make sense. Rather, we are forced to consider that there was a master creator that designed all this to work in such a perfect way to allow life come into existence. And it leaves us with a sense of appreciation for the creative brilliance of this creator. Its in these moments that we can relate with the psalmists as they declare

Psalm 8:3-4

³ When I look at your heavens, the work of your fingers,

the moon and the stars, which you have set in place,
⁴ what is man that you are mindful of him,

and the son of man that you care for him?

Psalm 33:6-9

By the word of the Lord the heavens were made, and by the breath of his mouth all their host
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.

⁷ He gathers the waters of the sea as a heap;
he puts the deeps in storehouses.
⁸ Let all the earth fear the Lord;
let all the inhabitants of the world stand in awe of him!
⁹ For he spoke, and it came to be;

he commanded, and it stood firm.

The creative brilliance of God is constantly on display throughout all of creation. Next time you walk outside take a moment to enjoy the experience. If you are in Chicago in the bitter cold and snow, appreciate the concept of snow, and how cold the environment needs to get to sustain snow. Even, better, have hope for the fading of snow and when the sun shine and warmth returns. Jonathan Edwards was famous for scheduling times in the day to go on walks and horse back riding. These times were devoted to enjoying the beauty around him and to be reminded of the grandeur of God and his creative work.

2. It stirs the affections of human wonder of God

My affection for God were stirred. When I say affections I mean a multitude of emotions. My love, sheer awe, wonder, fear, reverence, respect and so much more. Some of you may find it strange that I include fear in my list. However, it seems right to be in holy fear and reverence of the one who is able to speak existence into being and fashioned man kind in His own likeness and image.

It is not possible to experience the creative brilliance of God at work and NOT be moved
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As my affections are stirred I am reminded of the goodness of God. This remembrance causes me to worship and bring to recollection the goodness of God in all of life. It also causes me to have right perspective of our God. I am reminded of the line in the C.S Lewis novel The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe as the children begin to learn the character and nature of Aslan. The kids did not have a full perspective of who Aslan really was. And when they considered him to be “safe” Mr. Beaver responds,

““Safe?” said Mr. Beaver; “don’t you hear what Mrs. Beaver tells you? Who said anything about safe? ‘Course he isn’t safe. But he’s good. He’s the King, I tell you.”

― C.S. Lewis, The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe

C.S Lewis masterfully captures the tension that lies in the goodness of God and his “otherness”. At times we only look at a specific attribute of God and view that as who He is in totality. But God is much more complex. As my affections for God lead to worship, it becomes clear that we need a full perspective of the greatness of God which results in a multitude of emotions (awe, wonder, fear, amazement) as we enter into worship of who He is.

Ready for the next 2 ways? Be on the look out for the next post!

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4 Ways To Stay Married With A Crazy Travel Schedule

Joel Muddamalle — Wed, 22 Oct 2014 22:14:27 +0000

I was at a conference recently in Atlanta and someone asked me where I am from. I responded, the airport.

This last year I have done over 120,000 miles of air travel. I still have a couple more months so the 150,000 mile is still a real possibility with a trip to London coming up for the Worship Central Conference. As some of you are reading this there are typically two thoughts based on your context.

1. The single person thinks – Thats amazing! I wish I could travel like that!
2. The married person thinks – God bless his wife. If my spouse traveled like that there would be some serious problems!

For the single person, it is pretty awesome, at least for the first 20,000 miles. Then the repetition of airport, rental car, hotel, conference venue and repeat gets real old, real fast. However, if you want to experience it yourself, Faithlife is hiring!

For the married person, you’re right. My wife is amazing. She shows an incredible amount of grace and understanding. Beyond that however, is an intentionality to stay connected spiritually and emotionally while I am away. Here are four ways we go about this. If you travel as much as I do or are in a situation where travel may be a reality, I hope this helps you.

Bring visibility to your travel schedule:

Brittany and I have a shared calendar. She knows every trip that is on my calendar. She is able to help me stay accountable in the amount of time I am away. She also is able to see that I may have a long travel stretch in front of me, but there is a good week or two week slot that I have blocked off for family. Maybe even more important, make sure that your blocked of time for your family is actually for your family. No more of the “Babe, just one more email”. Your wife and kids experience half hearted commitments that fall through everyday. Don’t let your commitment to spend time with them be one of those experiences. The shared calendar also helps my wife to set her expectations while keeping me accountable to my schedule. This also allows for open communication about travel and the impact it is having on her and the boys.

Stay connected to the Word :

We do our best to do shared Bible reading plans together when I am gone. We both have the Faithlife Study Bible App and Logos Bible Software, so we will typical pick a specific reading plan and read through that sharing thoughts via community notes. This engages our minds with the beauty of scripture. As we focus on and delve into the depth of the Word, we are connected in the most meaningful way possible.

Leverage technology to increase your ability to communicate:

Traveling is crazy. Over the last month there have been a ridiculous amounts of cancellations and delays. This makes it hard to jump on the phone to talk to my wife as I am running to the opposite side of the airport to catch a connecting flight. However, I can text her and let her know what is happening. I love the new iOS update that has built in voice memos. Britt and I use this all the time to stay connected on the little things. This way she knows what my day looks like and I can stay connected with whats happening on the home front. Things like FaceTime and Skype are game changers. We try to always FaceTime at night with the kids before they go to bed if possible.

Extend grace:

The most important thing is be gracious to each other. The reality is that I have screwed up more times than I can count. I forget to text or FaceTime. I get preoccupied with my travel woes or the stress of a conference and neglect my reading plans or speaking to my wife. This is where grace plays a crucial role.

In truth, these are things that are helpful if you have a crazy travel schedule or not. Finally, there is an extra level of responsibility for husbands to lead their families well. I love Ephesians 5:25-29 because we see clearly that the responsibility and great privilege of the husband is in cleansing his wife with the washing of the Word. Marriage is an incredible gift of God.

What are some things that you do to ensure a healthy marriage? Let me know in the comments section below!

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