When Brittany and I first got married we always wondered who would be the tough parent and the easy parent. I quickly stated that I would be tough.

Moment of honesty:

I don’t like kids. It’s actually true. I’ve never been a kid person. That’s why I’ve always gravitated towards youth ministry and working with high school and college age students rather than little kids.

Hubris:

This experience lead me to believe that I would be immune to the charm, whinny voice, and utter smooth moves from these little creatures we call kids. Then I became a dad. Quickly it became evident that I was not the stoic father that was immune to childish charm. In fact, when it came to my first born, Liam, I fell pray to his wide eyed smile, cry, and whine almost every time. Brittany became the tough “cant get anything past me” mom. Then my second son Levi came. He has a different kind of charm. The kind where he does something incredibly naughty, looks at you in the face, smiles, and in a raspy voice says, love you daddy da. It gets me every time. My third son Lucas is only 4 months old. He already has the half smile with dimple smile down.

Traveling Life:

Then our lives took a twist. I transitioned into a new role at work where I spend a considerable more time traveling across the US and sometimes the world to present, speak, and teach workshops at conferences. One side affect I never considered would be how this impacted my desire to discipline my boys. I found myself on the road for 2-4 days at a time. When I came home my first thoughts were not about consistency in parenting or the 3-4 things Brittany had been working on the boys with. It was hugging, kissing, and playing with my boys. Even further, the simple thought of disciplining the boys was hard enough, I couldn’t really bring myself to do it. I became the dad who gave the “last warnings” and “second and ONLY chances”.

I quickly realized (Brittany helped a lot with this!) that my travel schedule was not an excuse for me not being present or active in the discipline of our children. In fact, my sons need discipline from their father. Proverbs 23 has it right, children should listen to their fathers instructions. The only way children can listen to their fathers instructions are if fathers are actually giving instruction!

Ways to be present in the discipline of my kids:

Here are a few ways I have tried to provide some course correction:

• Stay in the loop while I am away – Its easy to talk about surface level things with Brittany and the boys while I’m away. The best thing I can do is be intentional about what is happening in the lives of my kids and asking my wife how things are going with them. My wife serves as the window into everyday life when I’m gone. Our ability to communicate well is incredibly helpful as I stay in the loop on the wins and challenges at home.
• Engage in conversation with kids – While I’m away I want to discuss and talk about what has been going one during that day. I want to talk about what happened when Liam got in trouble for hitting his brother. Even though I am in a different state I want my sons to know that daddy is still present and cares about what they are doing. This type of daily recap and recollection is not only helpful for me, but also for my kids to consider the events of the day.
• Take your kids on dates – I give myself the freedom to have either a fun day. Basically, daddy takes the kids out to have fun. Typically, this just means we order pizza, have sword fights, throw the football around, or go to the park. Being able to just have fun with the kids gives me a release and is helpful as I step back into day to day dad living.

My kids need me to be their dad in all areas of their lives. @Muddamalle
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I’ve seen the disaster of parents that are physically or emotionally unavailable. It creates lasting challenges for their kids. The benefits of being godly and attentive parents are countless, and we will see those benefits played out as our kids become spouses and parents themselves one day.

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Related Posts:

• Four Ways To Stay Married With a Crazy Travel Schedule
•  Staying Dad While Traveling
• Being Road Sick

The post The Traveling Dad: The Challenge of Discipline appeared first on Joel's Travels.