As a kid I hated consistency. Actually, the more I think about it, I still hate it. But I know it’s good for me. It’s even more important for my kids. Traveling threw the concept of consistency for a spin for our family. There are times when Dad is not home for dinner or breakfast. There are times when he is. The night time routine can get changed, which can become a big deal for our kids. I learned quickly that I don’t read stories like momma.

We quickly began to see the toll that inconsistency had for our kids. The boys became anxious and began to question everything. Liam is the king of “but why dadda?”. At first I just got mad, then I realized that this was a symptom of inconsistency in his life. So why is consistency important for kids?

1. It builds a framework for them that they can rely on:

As much my kids fight the routine they need it. In many ways consistency serves as a safety blanket that they can rely on. Without this framework there isn’t anything that is anchoring them down. This creates a perfect scenario for them to start spinning out of control.

In fact, my inconsistency creates the opportunity for chaos in my kids life. @Muddamalle
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Kids need boundaries, they need guidelines and rules. Possibly the biggest challenge I came across as a youth pastor was the epidemic of parents that wanted to be friends with their kids and not their parents. Here’s a little secret that I found out. Friendship with your kids will come as they get older. If you focus on building a strong framework for your kids to rely on it will only result in a better friendship and further trust as they become adults. My mom never fooled around with me as a kid. There was never question if she was my parent or friend. Today, I enjoy a friendship with my mom, which is a blessing. Don’t worry, she still knows how to throw down on me if I need it!

2. It creates discipline:

Our pursuit of consistency results in much needed discipline for kids. This discipline is crucial for them as they develop into adulthood. As we focus on creating disciplined children not only will our kids thank as they become adults, but their spouses, kids, and bosses will owe us one!

While I was in New York I had a great conversation with the Hillsong NYC pastoral team. An observation that we both have seen is the expectation that teenagers and young adults have for instant gratification. They want what they want, now! Possibly a big part of the challenge is a lack of discipline and patience during their childhood. The best part of this is sitting back and watching our kids become responsible adults.

3. It facilitates an opportunity to make significant accomplishments:

I am constantly amazed at how much Liam (almost 4) and Levi (2) are absorbing. My wife Brittany recently decided to start working through a easy “teach your kids to read” book. She simply decided to consistently work through a page or two in the book each night. Now, when I’m home Liam reminds me that he has to do his “work” like dadda does work. So every night he grabs his book and sits with me and momma to practice his reading. Oh, and my 3.5 year old can legitimately read 15-20 words. Is it purely because he’s a genius? Well, yes. But more importantly is because of a consistent pattern each night.

Our kids have the ability to absorb, learn, and accomplish a lot. As parents we have the great opportunity to focus in on specific areas. This can look different for everyone. For some it may be reading, for others it could working on brushing teeth or cleaning up toys. Regardless, you can accomplish a lot simply by being consistent.

Finally, grace.

Give yourself grace. Please don’t take this post to mean that we have to be perfect. Inconsistency is part of life. Things happen, routines change, and life goes on. Give yourself grace, and remember to give your parent friends grace also!

More posts from the Traveling Dad Series:

The Challenge of Discipline

Will I Mess Up My Kids?

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