In a recent post I exposed the dark area of my life that showed how ridiculously obsessed I am about winning, and the fact that I hate losing or failing at anything.  Something that goes in tandem with this is how often I feel my perspective or opinion is right and the other persons is wrong. I usually see this play out most often in my marriage as my wife and I “passionately dialogue” about our perspective on various matters

Disclaimer:

There are certain arguments or discussions that can be categorized as simply unhelpful, silly, and even dumb. In these instances, the issue is not “How do your respond” but rather, don’t even engage the conversation. Titus 3:9 gives us clear instruction in regards to this and it would be wise for us to follow those instructions.

Disagreement:

Then there are serious topics that need to be discussed. So how do we engage in conversation and respond in these instances? Further, the issue of disagreement and more importantly how we respond in light of disagreement is one that impacts almost every area of our life. As a spouse, employee, or employer. How do we respond when we stare at the person across from the table and just don’t agree with them?

3 Ways To Respond To Disagreement:

Stay Humble:

First, its important to recognize that we may actually be wrong, which will result in a more humble attitude and approach in our conversations. A posture of humility in conversation allows both parties to engage honestly and receive what the other person is actually saying. When we find ourselves in that stalemate situation it may no longer be an issue of who will “win” but rather a long term approach to sharing a particular perspective.

Walk Away While Maintaining The Relationship:

It’s ok to disagree and to make a definitive stance on something that we believe in. However, it’s an error to walk away from this type of conversation and lose a relationship over it. It’s absolutely ok to walk away saying you disagree with each other but you still respect each others opinion and perspective. Don’t lose a friendship over a disagreement, in almost every situation its not worth it.

Study and Learn The Other Perspective:

I’ve made my opinion and perspective on planned parenthood pretty public. You can read about it here. In the process I was faced with conversations with people who I love, respect, and value, but we found ourselves fiercely disagreeing. I decided to approach this situation by considering, researching, and studying the other position. Throughout the process I found that I was in fact misinformed in some areas, but at the end I was more convinced about my position. The result was also an ability relate to and show the other individuals that I seriously cared about them and their position and was willing to do the work to be informed.

Disagreement in life is a guarantee. The way we respond in light of disagreement can make a significant difference in our personal, professional, and even spiritual growth and maturity.

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There’s an elephant in the room and no one wants to talk about it. It’s huge; ridiculously large. This particular elephant has tusks that are massive. Still, no one wants to acknowledge it. This elephant sits within the space of every conversation, debate, and discussion of planned parenthood, their processes, policies, methodologies, fiscal responsibility, and so on. So, what is this elephant?

It’s. Our. Morality.

Fair warning, what I am about to discuss does not involves details or debates about processes, policies, methodologies, and fiscal responsibility. Rather, I want to deal with the moral issue that must be considered first and foremost before we engage in conversing the latter.

I have both experienced and watched others engage in conversation about planned parenthood and I am amazed the issue of morality is not one that is taken seriously. This is not simply a political or religious issue, its a moral issue. Well, what is the issue? It can be summed up with the following question.

Question: Do you believe it is ok to murder an innocent unborn child or not?

I can already feel, hear, and anticipate the uproar that is coming my way.

It’s not that simple.

It’s more complex.

You don’t understand.

You’re naive, and an idealist.

All of that may be true, however, it does not stop us from answering the question and living behind our answer. I believe that it’s this core question that has to inform every decision, practice, policy, and method.

We have to match our methods and practices to our convictions

We have to match our methods and practices to our convictions via @Muddamalle
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Rather then trying to rationalize and mask our convictions in such a way as to condone our practices. Further, I recognize that Planned Parenthood does some great stuff and provide some incredible resources and services. However, they also abort and kill innocent children, which is being funded directly or indirectly from federal tax dollars. Is it ok to neglect an evil that is being done because there is also good? Just a brief stroll down history lane shows us the results of such thinking. Namely, slavery, Hitler, wars, murder, and genocide in the name of religion!

The moral issue surrounding the sanctity of life, in my opinion, is the moral thread that will unravel everything. When we are unwilling to stand up for and fight for the lives of innocent unborn children things are going to get bad, really bad, really quick. They already are, just turn on CNN for five minutes.

The Practical Side:

Let me touch briefly on the practicality side. There are so many other options that are out there for services similar to and better than what Planned Parenthood provides. Further, if federal funding was adjusted and made available to such services we could see a scalability that would fit within an uncompromising moral framework. Also, it’s a mistake to think, assume, or neglect the reality that with decisions such as abortion comes immense guilt. We need to provide counseling services to these ladies and let them know that there is hope, restoration, and healing. Maybe even more important, why let it get to that? Why not provide counseling and support prior to such a drastic decision and provide viable alternatives such as adoption? Someone asked me, “how is it fair to ask a women to go through the trauma of a full term pregnancy in the case of rape or incest?”. I’d ask the same question of the unborn child. How is it fair for that unborn child to be murdered for something the child had no control over? Rather, doesn’t it seem to make more sense to provide counseling for the women, deliver the baby and give it up for adoption, and provide on going care for the women? In this instance the women does not need to add murder of an innocent unborn child to the already serious trauma she is dealing with.

My position can be summed up in this simple statement:

We have a moral obligation to defend the lives of unborn children and find another way to meet the needs of people without excusing the killing of innocent unborn children. People can accuse me of being an idealist, but I’ve chosen my side.

“You may choose to look the other way, but you can never again say you didn’t know” – William Wilberforce

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