My son’s seizure. I never honestly thought I would ever say that phrase. In the most terrifying experience of my life I held my 9 month old son as he went into what I now know is a complex febrile seizure. Little Lucas had a spike in fever while we were just 10 minutes away from my uncles house to surprise my mom for her birthday. Just before he went into the seizure he had a unique pain cry that we had never heard. My wife, Brittany, knew instantly something was wrong and jumped into the backseat to see what was wrong. As he went into the seizure, I pulled over, called 911, and then I stood there holding my 9 month old son as his left hand and left foot convulsed for what seemed like an eternity until we heard the sirens approach us.
It’s taken me some time to process what was taking place in my mind but I realized I began to pray Psalm 46 earnestly to the Lord in those moments and I continued to pray it over the next 48 hours of testing, confusion, anger, and anticipation. Why Psalm 46? Actually, its because it was the first Psalm that was released as a pre-release in song form from my friends Shane and Shane. I’ve been listening to this song easily over 50 times simply because I loved their arrangement of this powerful Psalm. Little did I know that God in his sovereignty began to prepare my heart days before this scary moment as I watched my son not only go through the seizure but watch as he was subjected to multiple tests.
So, I thought I would share my prayer and how Psalm 46 encouraged me in my time of need.
Praying Psalm 46:
God, you are my refuge and strength, in the midst of my fears you are present. God I know that even if the earth falls apart or the mountains fall into roaring waters and disappear, you are near to me, and never leave. In spite of what is going on with Lucas, you are my ever present help and I will continue to praise you for who you are.
I can’t begin to imagine the city of God, where the Most High dwells. Even in the midst of mourning and tragedy, and turmoil, God you help me. I take strength in knowing that the God of all the heavenly hosts is with me. God, you are with me. You don’t leave me. In my stillness, in my fear, in my uncertainty, and doubt, I know you are God. Thank you Lord of hosts for being with me and comforting me, and being my fortress. Selah.
I am absolutely blown away by the faithfulness of God. At a lot of conferences where I present Logos Bible Software I share the following quote from Charles Spurgeon:
I always follow up this quote by stating how incredible it is to know that God uses our own brokenness as a means of grace to minister to and encourage those who are broken, anxious, in despair, and confused. I realize today, more than ever, how true that is. This experience has caused me to draw closer to the living, breathing, majestic God who satisfies all of our desires, and meets us in the midst of both joy and despair.
I can’t help but consider that some of you reading this post have gone through seasons of tragedy, turmoil, and sorrow. I pray that you would be encouraged by our great God who is the Lord of Host’s, and is never far from us but is near to us. I know that he has been near to me.
I’ll leave you with Psalm 46:
God is our refuge and strength,
a very present help in trouble.
2 Therefore we will not fear though the earth gives way,
though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea,
3 though its waters roar and foam,
though the mountains tremble at its swelling. Selah
4 There is a river whose streams make glad the city of God,
the holy habitation of the Most High.
5 God is in the midst of her; she shall not be moved;
God will help her when morning dawns.
6 The nations rage, the kingdoms totter;
he utters his voice, the earth melts.
7 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah
8 Come, behold the works of the Lord,
how he has brought desolations on the earth.
9 He makes wars cease to the end of the earth;
he breaks the bow and shatters the spear;
he burns the chariots with fire.
10 “Be still, and know that I am God.
I will be exalted among the nations,
I will be exalted in the earth!”
11 The Lord of hosts is with us;
the God of Jacob is our fortress. Selah*
I also hope you will be encouraged by Shane and Shane as they sing this powerful Psalm.
*C. H. Spurgeon, The Metropolitan Tabernacle Pulpit Sermons, vol. 57 (London: Passmore & Alabaster, 1911), 77.
The Holy Bible: English Standard Version (Wheaton: Standard Bible Society, 2001), Ps 46:1–11.